Good to me.

How do I define, “God is good to me?”

Excel.

There is a need for greater influence. The church doesn’t just need more leaders in it, the church needs more leaders outside to lead the world. We speak about meritocracy, whereby leadership is given unto those most fit(factor in the amount of achievements attained, and the excellence of their work). As we know, influence is bounded unto leadership. Hence, there is a need for us to excel and achieve not only in ministry, but in our work/studies/community etc! We must be high achievers, we must be the ‘best in our business’! We cannot try to ‘win the world’ being nobodies, we must be known. Our lives doesn’t revolve around ‘church ministry’, it revolves around God’s ministry.

We must achieve, we must excel.

Perfect!

We just need that ‘perfect’ mistake. Circumstances; the largest factor by far.

That’s it!

Eat, sleep, train, study.

Understanding.(II)

Another fantastic reason as to moving with faith.

Xanthe says:
hahah isn’t that what faith is all about? believing in what you do not see.

Zejie. says:
But think with me. If you follow without understanding, what will you understand at the end of the day? What if it’s not revealed even through following? There’s no guarantee.
What’s more, it’s so much easier to fall away without understanding.
But I’m not advocating dwelling in questions and remaining status quo.

Xanthe says:
let’s just take the example of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. until and unless all the pieces of the puzzles are placed together, we can never see the whole picture. what you are trying to do now, is to try to piece all 1000 pieces in one shot. but the limitations of us are that: we have only a pair of hands, and the maximum that we can piece together at any one point is two pieces of jigsaw. even so, we aren’t sure if they are in their right positions. that’s when we leave them be at the moment, piece other similar pieces, then associate them if they are similar.

Zejie. says:
You can only figure out the next step when you’ve gotten the first few right, isn’t it?

Xanthe says:
yup hold on let me speak.

Zejie. says:
Sure

Xanthe says:
what do you usually find first when you piece jigsaw puzzles?

Zejie. says:
The sides/angles.
Xanthe says:
yeah you’re right
i’ll look for the corners.

Zejie. says:
Mhm

Xanthe says:
and these 4 corners are something which you will so called fall back on or use as a referent?

Zejie. says:
Mhm
I’m getting where you’re coming from.

Xanthe says:
yeah.

Zejie. says:
Alright, let’s look at it this way.
You have your corners to lean on definitely.

Xanthe says:
so maybe it isn’t about getting answers… but about questioning yourself what these 4 basic principles of in your life are.

Zejie. says:
Hmm, and leave the puzzle unfinished?

Xanthe says:
nope!

Zejie. says:
That’s the thing, we can’t leave it unfinished.
So if we were to say.
Our corners are there already.
We still have to get it right from there onwards, we can’t possibly just jump from places and ‘move’ on.
Maybe we’d get it there.
But chances are slim.
Even if we were to test and trial, we’re still seeking answers.

Xanthe says:
yes… haha

Zejie. says:
And sometimes a problematic piece in the puzzle.
Doesn’t really allow you to get on to another part.

Xanthe says:
haha and that’s what i mean by… you leave it alone, find other puzzles, and get back to it later!

Zejie. says:
Got it.

Xanthe says:
the more pieces of jigsaw you find… the clearer the position of these “problematic puzzles”

Thanks for the great explanation, it was clear and concise.

Colourgenics.

Apparently, after reading Xavier and Jingwen’s blog, I decided to give this colorgenics thing a try, it’s pretty interesting. http://colorgenicstest.com/

Results:

You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to ‘All things bright and beautiful’. This personifies a caring person, a person who ‘needs’ and indeed ‘needs to be needed’.

You are working extremely hard – perhaps even above and beyond the call of duty. You are preparing for the future and therefore trying to build a firm trouble-free foundation upon which you may base all of your dreams and aspirations.

You need a friend – a close friend – and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back – careful to avoid open conflict – since this might reduce your prospects of realising your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all – you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You wish to be left in peace… no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don’t want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for ‘them’ to get on with it – and to leave you alone.

2010

As with 2010, I would be expecting much more than what 09′ would’ve ever been. I’m feeling as though I’m still staggering about in 09′, it seems as if the year hasn’t really had a proper closure as for me. Nonetheless, I’m glad that 09′ is over; a new phase in life in 2010 awaits, yet however it’ll just be another year to pass by despite any happenings at all. Albeit, I’d give myself a pat on the back for struggling off 09′, it wasn’t exactly easy to live through the stifling year so as to speak.

It was tempting to erase 09′ away from my memory, but it wasn’t as though 2010 started off fantastic. It’s been watered down even at the very beginning of the year; I don’t think it spells anything but pathetic. And I always thought that with the dawn of a new year, people would want to set the right foot in for the year. Whatever the case is, I’m determined to make the best of 2010 irregardless; I will break loose from the suffocating grip of the past, trying my best to not associate myself with it. Remaining status quo is not an option.

I just don’t.

I just don’t get it sometimes.

Facade.

If you’re wearing a mask for too long, it may just start bonding with the very real raw skin behind it. It may become, another part of you. By then, it’ll take more than herculean effort to seperate between the real and the fake; the lines have already merged. Eventually, you become nothing more, but merely a mannequin, appearing real, but you’re all plastic. Now then, what do you live for, only but for others to look upon, but not having a real life of your own. Is it worth it?

Nostalgia.

Bittersweet maybe. Of bitterness, the feelings of uncertainty is more than overwhelming. The mixed feelings of doubt and faith entwined into a never-ending twist of mindless confusion and curiosity. Predecessors have moved on, leaving the current, (or rather, as of now) the “past generation” stuck in the same situation of transition. Transition isn’t a loving embrace, the fingers of the future grasp you tightly by the neck, leaving you asphyxiated. Sensation of being smothered in this case could be likened to being dragged from the safe haven into an unpredictable unknown world. Wasn’t this already inevitable? What more can I do, but leave it to His grace and my character that defines me.

Of sweetness, its the “usuals”. The time spent; blood, sweat and tears shed together to forge lasting brotherhoods which may actually withstand the test of time. The honour of passing on the passion to the newer generation who would bring the glory of Him to a newer level; a breakthrough from the past. Watching as the childish youths of yesterday becoming Men, seeking to fight with their lives for Him is heart-warming, but nevertheless yet another story of transformation and realization. Will they walk hand in hand, side by side, to push for His name to spread? In my heart, I believe so, which makes me feel good about leaving; it’s their time to shine.

And again, this bittersweet feeling is just nostalgia. I don’t think I’m being emotional; I’m just embracing the side of my humanity which feels. Aside from just seeking answers, rationale and reason, I’m also human to feel.